|
|
- A guy sticks his head into a
barber shop and asks, "How long before I can
get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and
says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door
and asks, " How
long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks
around at the shop full
of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy
leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and
asks, "How long
before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around
the shop and says,
"About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.
The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a
friend in the shop
and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he
goes."
A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop,
laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left
here?"
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your
house."
|
- Teenagers are like CATS:
** Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call
them by name.
** No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed,
all
humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the
privilege of
waiting on them hand and foot.
** You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an
adult
human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in
his or her
right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her
parents.
** Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your
cat nor
your teen will ever crack a smile.
** No cat or teenager shares you taste in music.
** Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for
hours on
end without moving, barely breathing.
** Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
** Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,
communicating
that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter
boredom.
** Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
** Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been
known to
return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal
in your
bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.
|
|
|
|
|
|
