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- A little old lady went into
the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She
insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank
to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of
money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff
finally ushered her into the president's office (the
customer is always right!). The bank president then asked
her how much she would like to deposit. She replied,
"$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag
onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how
she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm
surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you
get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make
bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind
of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example,
I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid
bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady
challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000
that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then
said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money
involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10am as
a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident
president. That night, the president got very nervous about
the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking
his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He
thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was
absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would
win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10am, the little
old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office.
She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the
bet "$25,000 says the president's balls are
square!" The president agreed with the bet again and
the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all
see. The president complied. The little old lady peered
closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is
a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely
sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was
quietly banging his head against the wall. The president
asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with
your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet
him $100,000 that at 10am today I'd have The Bank of
Canada's president's balls in my hand."
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- Social Security...
A retired gentleman went to the social security office to
apply for
social security. After waiting in line a long time he got to
the
counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his
drivers
license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and
realized he
had left his wallet at home.
He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to
have left
his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and
comeback later".
The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens
his shirt
revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That
silver hair on
your chest is proof enough for me," & she processed
his social
security application.
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about
his
experience at the social security office. She said,
"You should have
dropped your pants, you might have gotten disability
too."
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