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- Two rednecks, Bubba and
Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple
of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey
thar up ahead, Earl,
it's a po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin'
these here
beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just
pull over and finish drinkin'
these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our
foreheads, and throw the
bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles
under the seat, and
each put a label on their forehead.When they reached the
roadblock, the
sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
... "No sir," Earl said. "We're on the
patch."
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- A red head, a brunette, and
(of course) a blonde walk into a bar. The
bartender tells them that in the bathroom there's a magical
mirror that will
give you something good if you tell it the truth but you lie
you get sucked
in.
The girls liked the idea so they all walked into the
bathroom.
The brunette said "I think I'm the best looking person
in this bar" and out
popped out her prize.
Next the red-head and went up and said "I think I'm the
smartest girl in
this bar" it was the truth so a prize popped out of the
mirror.
Next the blonde went "I think...." She was sucked
into the mirror and never
seen again.
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- Two rednecks had just gone
fishing and brought in the largest amount of fish
they had ever seen.
One said to the other, "Did you mark the place where
the fishing was so
good?"
"Yes, I put an X on the side of the boat."
"You idiot. What if we were gonna take a different boat
next time?"
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- A redneck woman went to the
school to register her boys. The office worker
asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"And what are their names?" he asked.
"Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and
Bob."
"They're ALL named Bob?" he asked. "What if
you want them to come in from
playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she explained, "I just
call 'Bob,' and they all come
running inside."
"And if you want them to come to the table for
dinner?"
"I just say, 'Bob, come eat your dinner,' and they
do." She answered.
"But what if you want just ONE of them to do
something?" he asked. "Oh,
that's easy," she said. "I just use their last
name."
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