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What do SMART Sardars and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
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Why did the Sardars stare at the can of frozen orange
juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.
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Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
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How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
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Why can't Sardars dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!
- A letter from a Sikh patient to
his family doctor:
Hi Doc,
As you know, when I first got married 11 years ago, me and
my wife
came to see you to consult on family planning. We do not
plan to have kids
and we asked you for advise. You told us to try birth
CONTROL methods.
Tried as hard as I can, I couldn't help controlling myself
from
ejaculating and my wife got pregnant.
So we got our first child.
You then advised us to try ORAL contraceptives before sex.
We did
and yet my wife got pregnant. I failed to see how licking
and sucking each
other before sex can prevent her from getting pregnant!
After the birth of our second child, we went to see you
again for
advice. You told us my wife has to be ON the PILL and she
did. Yet a few
weeks later, we found out she was pregnant. I failed then to
see how
lying on top of the pill while having sex can prevent her
from getting pregnant.
After the birth of our third child, we came to see you
again. You
told her to TAKE IN the PILL before sex this time. She did
as you said and
yet she got pregnant. I failed to see, even as we enjoyed
it, how putting
the pill in her you-know-where before sex can prevent her
from getting
pregnant.
After the birth of our fourth child, you told us to try the
RHYTHM
method and we followed strictly as you prescribed. It was
very tough but
somehow we managed. Yet my wife got pregnant again. I failed
to see how
dancing
the rumba, cha-cha and the tango while having sex can help
to prevent
her from getting pregnant. So we got our fifth child.
You then suggested I put on condoms before sex. You even
taught me
how to put them on. Yet, my wife got pregnant again. I
simply don't understand
how putting French caps on my index finger as you taught me
can prevent
her from getting pregnant. My sixth child was a boy.
You then told me that I should have put the French caps on
my
"head" instead. We tried that too, and I nearly
died of suffocation. I
realized now which sane man would want to belief that
putting condoms over your
head while having sex would prevent your wife from getting
pregnant,
even though it nearly succeeded. So our seventh child was
born.
We went to see you again. You advised us to CHANGE methods.
We did,
and yet my wife got pregnant and she had our eighth child. I
failed to see how changing from the normal missionary method
to the doggie-style and
other methods can prevent her from getting pregnant.
Next you advised us to practice TOTAL ABSTINENCE. We
strictly abstained
from taking all foods and liquids before sex until we were
so weak and exhausted.
Yet we got our ninth child 9 months later.
You then advised us to try the ALTERNATE methods of birth
control.
We did that too, and yet my wife got pregnant. I failed to
understand how
having sex on alternate days and on alternate sides can
prevent her from getting pregnant. My wife cried on the
alternate days which made me
alternate from being very happy to very sad. My tenth child
was just born yesterday.
Dear Doctor,
I no longer believe in you and your birth control methods.
I have seen a lawyer and I'll be suing you for giving us
false advise.
You'll be hearing from my lawyers soon ...
No thanks to you !!!!!
- BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM
MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no.,
hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if
you saw it? Beppo Singh: four
asterisks!
- There were 2 surd, both of
them were good hunters, one of them Mr.Daka Singh killed
only lions & tigers, and one Mr. Laka Singh killed only
deers. Once they both met.
Laka Singh asked Daka Singh how is that you only kill lions
& tigers and I kill only deers. Tell me the trick. He
told him just go to a cave and imitate the noise of a sheep the lion comes out of the
cave and shoot him then that
quite easy. After 2 months daka singh got the news that Laka Singh was in the
hospital on questioning him he exclaimed I did the same thing
you told me. I just outside a big
cave and imitated the noise of
a sheep but I did not know that deccan queen was coming out from the cave.
- After making a trip of South
India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to
punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the
lower berth, his wife the
middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one
of the stations on the way
back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa
readily agreed. When Santa and his
son returned they found that a
South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged,
Santa Singh called the TT and
asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi
so it would be better if Santa
Singh explained the whole
situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my
wife is not giving birth to my
child."
- One Sardar was enjoying Sun
on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are
you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta
Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one
came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed
and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another
Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are
you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and
answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped
him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah
doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."
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